Lourdes and Healing

March 25, 2020August 5, 2020 / Erin Dougherty / 3 Comments

What is Lourdes?

Lourdes is a town in the southwestern part of France, located on the Gave river, between the larger town of Pau (to the west) and city of Toulouse (to the east). It is a pilgrimage town, receiving millions of pilgrims every year.

Made famous by Bernadette Soubirous, who at the age of 14 in 1858, witnessed multiple apparitions of a Lady at the grotto.

Many various reasons bring people to the site every year. To drink, bathe in, or collect the healing waters whose source is located in the grotto where all of the apparitions took place. To join in prayer in the numerous basilicas and chapels (six total) on site. To light a candle and offer prayers of intention.

Our Lourdes Experience

I have to admit, even though I mentioned the grotto of Lourdes in a post explaining our grotto for Millie’s garden, I was really quite ignorant about the town of Lourdes and famous story of Bernadette and the apparitions.

When we went to France, the town wasn’t even on my radar. However, our host family in Biarritz decided that this might be good for our soul. It was only about 2 hours from where they lived. They were right. Then again, they’re mes parents français (my French parents), so I wouldn’t expect anything less.

We arrived into Lourdes early afternoon, and wound around small streets driving past rows upon rows of hotels. Shuttered hotels. Hotels closed for the off season. We were in a religious resort town of sorts. We parked right next to the Gave and began our short half mile hike to the basilicas and grotto.

We wound through those same streets, open at street level with souvenir shops. They were selling empty bottles ranging in size from an ounce to two gallons with the express purpose of taking water from the source. There were rosaries, night lights, baseball caps, candles, mints made from the source water, cookies, handkerchiefs, books and coffee mugs. Something for everyone. A little over the top for me.

We arrived to the entrance of the pilgrimage site, with hundreds of people milling about. We were lucky to be there during the off season and were able to experience everything without the crowds. We spent some time walking around the outside – listening to a prayer by a chaplain at the grotto, drinking from the fountain, and lighting candles. Just sitting in the sunlight and taking in the fresh air. Trying to understand the history of the place and come to a calmness.

How it helped our healing

In some very profound ways it helped the continuous mending of our hearts.

We lit three candles. We remembered my Dad, we remembered Millie, and we celebrated our blessing – MC.

We visited the grotto and touched the smooth rock, worn down by the millions of visitors that do the same each year.

We drank from the line of water fountains that distributed water from the source.

We visited the basilicas. Yes, basilicas, plural. We took a moment to pause and reflect on life. To be grateful. To hope. To let go.

What now?

It’s been ten months, nearly to the day, since life without Millie became our new reality. We’ve been navigating life one day at a time, and trying to find all the silver linings that we possibly can.

For the past couple of months it’s been hard to stop thinking about what “should be” instead of focusing on what is. To wonder what “will be” instead of being present in the moment. To stop blaming myself for what I had no control over. To stop stressing over what isn’t. To be grateful for what we have.

Information for explaining the geography, history, and facts of Lourdes, France was taken from the following sources:

This is part of a mini series of stories shared from our recent trip to France. Visit my Instagram for more pictures from the trip. Previous posts include:

Two helpful apps: Two apps that made navigating Paris super simple
A trip of firsts: First time personal and family experiences traveling to France
Three lessons: What I learned traveling internationally with our family
Preparing to leave: Tips I found on the internet for traveling with a young family

Do you have questions about our trip? Please email me or share in the comments section – I would love to answer them!

Lourdes and Healing

March 25, 2020 / Erin Dougherty / Leave a comment

What is Lourdes?

Made famous by Bernadette Soubirous, who at the age of 14 in 1858, witnessed multiple apparitions of a Lady at the grotto.

Our Lourdes Experience

How it helped our healing

In some very profound ways it helped the continuous mending of our hearts.

We lit three candles. We remembered my Dad, we remembered Millie, and we celebrated our blessing – MC.

We visited the grotto and touched the smooth rock, worn down by the millions of visitors that do the same each year.

We drank from the line of water fountains that distributed water from the source.

We visited the basilicas. Yes, basilicas, plural. We took a moment to pause and reflect on life. To be grateful. To hope. To let go.

What now?

Information for explaining the geography, history, and facts of Lourdes, France was taken from the following sources:

This is part of a mini series of stories shared from our recent trip to France. Visit my Instagram for more pictures from the trip. Previous posts include:

Two helpful apps: Two apps that made navigating Paris super simple
A trip of firsts: First time personal and family experiences traveling to France
Three lessons: What I learned traveling internationally with our family
Preparing to leave: Tips I found on the internet for traveling with a young family

Do you have questions about our trip? Please email me or share in the comments section – I would love to answer them!

Two apps that made travel easier in Paris, France

March 18, 2020March 13, 2020 / Erin Dougherty / 2 Comments

Oh technology…how you simplify our lives with an app for everything. In preparing for our trip, we were curious if there would be any apps for our phone that would help with our travel, and we were not disappointed. There are two apps we relied on heavily during the trip that were so, so helpful in planning and navigating Paris, France in the best way to see the most in our 3 day visit.

VisitACity

I LOVE this app! Bonus, it’s available for many, many popular cities.

You choose your city, the duration of the visit, and then you can make your own itinerary or choose from one of the pre-made itineraries.

We started with the three day recommendations, and then customized there were some many great options to really make the itinerary your own:

Start and end location (we used our Air BnB location),
Start times for each day, and
Organization and order of visits within a day
Option to move visits to another day
Option to add or delete visits

There were some invaluable resources available through this app, too:

Visit time estimates are provided, you can adjust them based on wants and needs,
Estimated travel time (and type or transport) is provided between each destination,
Option to purchase tickets,
Information provided in real time about whether a destination is open or not, websites, hours, etc.
A map of the city with dots representing your sights of choice plus other popular sights nearby

On top of all of this, you can make the app available for offline use, which was amazing, since (thank you major national cellVone company) the international rates for data per day were…ridicule (ridiculous). But the topic of cell phone rates as highway robbery compared to French prices is another blog post for another day, my friend.

The offline option helped us navigate the city on more than one occasion, the map, was not as detailed as the Plan Arrondissement book that I considered packing, but having the app saved me room in my purse.

RATP

This is Paris’ public transit app – although it was not available offline, it was an indispensable resource to have.

Some great features:

Information for buses and metro;
Route schedules and maps to reference
Itinerary builders
Real-time information for each route with estimated arrival times (very handy in case of les grèves/strikes)

It was so nice to just input where we were and where we wanted to go, and have the app tell us the possible routes. Anytime that a bus route was possible, even if it meant a switch/connection or a few extra blocks of walking, we took it.

The best part of this app is the choices it provides for the itineraries input. It shows bus, metro, RER, Vélib’, etc, and give information about correspondences/changes and if any walking was involved.

Although I have much more of the romantic mindset, preferring a physical map or the arrondissement book instead of plugging into my smartphone, these apps really proved their worth, and saved me extra room and took weight out of my purse.

When you travel what is your preference to be an informed traveller – app or paper? Do you have a favorite app you use to travel? Please share in the comments section!

This is part of a mini series of stories shared from our recent trip to France. Visit my Instagram for more pictures from the trip. Previous posts include:

A trip of firsts: First time personal and family experiences traveling to France
Three lessons: What I learned traveling internationally with our family
Preparing to leave: Tips I found on the internet for traveling with a young family

Do you have questions about our trip? Please email me or share in the comments section – I would love to answer them!

A Trip of Firsts

March 11, 2020March 13, 2020 / Erin Dougherty / 3 Comments

Although I had made many trips to France before now, for many reasons, this trip was the first time I had traveled as a family, with Chouchou and Mon Cœur (MC), our toddler.

For me, this trip was not only about introducing them to people and places close to my heart, it was also about helping me heal by spending some time with our adopted French families for the first time since the stillbirth.

Although we did not speak much about it at all (that wouldn’t be very French, I’ve been told), the time we were able to spend together helped me to heal.

I know that sounds silly, but it’s one thing to share news over the phone, and it’s another to truly embrace another person who feels the same grief and share it together, physically.

After almost a year, I am still healing in this regard, seeing family and friends for the first time and sharing a long hug.

But what this post really is about, is some personal and family firsts.

Personal firsts:

First AirBnB booking:

I have researched bookings on AirBnB before, but we had never booked a place. For our stay in Paris, we spent three days at a lovely AirBnB in the same neighborhood, near the Eiffel Tower, where I studied years ago. It was a wonderful experience and a cheaper alternative to staying in a hotel.

We also felt “at home” since we came back every evening and made a meal. The neighborhood was quiet at night and conveniently located to many different grocery stores, the metro, and a fresh air market.

The host, Nicholas was excellent about getting back in touch with any questions we had.

First Uber trip:

I really didn’t think I’d ever use Uber, but after our metro adventure with all of our luggage, I investigated. For 20 Euros more than what we spent taking the metro in (and only a total of 47 Euro), we had an Uber driver pick us up and take us door to door from our Air BnB to the airport terminal. Totally worth every centime (cent). Plus, our driver, David, was amazing. Courteous, kind, and punctual (I was so worried an Uber wouldn’t come at 4:30am).

The ride to the airport was a nice calm way to say adieu to the city as we passed by the Eiffel Tower and other landmarks in the dark of the morning, with only a few hints of street lights. Had we taken the metro, we would not have had such a smooth exit from the city and start to our next leg of the trip.

Between the AirBnB and the Uber experiences we had as our firsts, the bar for expectations in the future has been set high. Both were such positive experiences that as we plan travel in the future, we will definitely be using them again.

New places:

What I loved most about this trip was Chouchou’s wanting us to experience new things together. In Paris, among other places, we visited the Catacombs, the Palais Garnier, and les Invalides. While with friends we all experienced Lourdes, Chambord, and the Cathedral and town of Bourges together for the first time.

Mon Cœur’s Firsts:

MC had many firsts on this trip too, and it was so amazing to watch her reactions to each. As an adult, I take for granted many aspects of my life, so it was so refreshing to see her experience something otherwise banal to an adult.

Airplanes, trains, metros, and buses!

It was MC’s first plane ride, train ride, bus and metro rides. The plane ride was non-eventful just as I wished. She was entertained by the in-flight movies or her tablet, and aside from some walks around the plane, and some normal toddler restlessness, she was absolutely fabulous.

She kept her nose pressed to the window, watching the countryside zoom by in the train. It was so nice to travel this way – we could walk up and down the aisles to stretch our legs, and we got a close up view of the country. An added bonus, since MC traveled on my lap, she was free!

MC is enchanted by school buses, and so any bus is a school bus to her. We decided that we would take the bus whenever we could to see more of the city. Watching her face as we went through the city and she saw everything, her enthusiasm for everything was contagious. From dogs being walked to monuments we passed – she pointed it all out.

First trip to the beach:

The first evening we were in Biarritz, we went to Socoa, a little beach/bay area. MC wanted to run out on the sand and so Chouchou went out there with her. They ran around to all the drawings in the sand, then made their own baby shark drawings.

Her face lit up to be on the beach, with other kids, running around, playing soccer, and giggling. It did my heart good to watch her and Chouchou out playing. When she came off the beach, she wanted to take me on the sand and share this new place with me.

We enjoyed just watching her run around on the beach in February, but I am looking forward to this summer when we can take her to the beach and experience it in a different season.

This is part of a mini series of stories shared from our recent trip to France. Visit my Instagram for more pictures from the trip. Previous posts include:

Three lessons: What I learned traveling internationally with our family
Preparing to leave: Tips I found on the internet for traveling with a young family.

Do you have questions about our trip? Please email me or share in the comments section – I would love to answer them!

International Family Travel: Three Lessons Learned

March 7, 2020March 6, 2020 / Erin Dougherty / 4 Comments

I’ve had the good fortune to travel many times before both solo and with Chouchou. After this trip, I realize how different the dynamics are when you travel as a family, especially when traveling internationally and crossing time zones. Below are three things I learned from this trip.

Pack light. No, lighter than that.

Our trip lasted 16 days with travel included. As I was preparing suitcases, I packed eight changes of clothes for me and eight for Mon Cœur (MC). I knew we’d have access to a washer, so I thought we could bring half the clothes we needed.

In total, we had two large rolly suitcases, a trunki, and a stroller. MC had a her size book bag that was too heavy for her, and I had my huge pink purse. This was way too much for us.

I really believe we could have taken clothes for a third of our stay and made it work with just 4-5 days worth of clothes. Looking back, we should have been able to pack lighter ditch a rolly and the trunki in exchange for a carry-on book bag. The kid-sized book bag and the trunk were cute in concept, but lacking in practicality.

The packing cubes (Dot & Dot 4-pack large set) (Bagail 6-pack set, 3 different sizes) we bought were extremely helpful, and I’ll use them again in the future. It helped keep everyone’s clothes organized by outfit and with different cubes for everyone. It was also super helpful for stowing away gifts we had purchased for our friends – when we arrived at each destination, I just grabbed the packing cube, and everything was already there! I loved the Bagail 6-pack set because the medium size was perfect for the trunki suitcase for MC, and since it was awkwardly shaped (like a snow sleigh from Frozen), the cubes helped me pack the maximum amount of clothes in the space. The large suitcases were perfect to stack on top of each other and side-by-side, allowing for four cubes to fit in our large rolly suitcase.

What may be captivating to us may not be to MC and vice versa.

MC really did do amazingly well for all the sightseeing we packed in. She’s two and a half, and we didn’t expect her to be as captivated by all the places we visited.

When we toured the Paris Catacombs, we were unable to take the stroller, so MC had to walk the whole way. It was a 1.5 km walk (just under 1 mile). She walked almost the whole visit, did not get bored, and wasn’t scared by the macabre.

She waited patiently in the line for the Eiffel Tower, and enjoyed walking around and seeing the city from up high. She spied a soccer game, boats, and the gold roof from the Invalides, a visit from our first day.

In the Palais Garnier, while Chouchou looked around and took pictures amazed by the architecture and elaborate details, while MC rushed down the hallways running and giggling.

She was totally over sightseeing by the time we got to Sainte Chapelle, of course, the one cathedral that had security guards shushing any loud guests. MC decided it was her playground – she ran around until I caught up with her and went on an “eye spy” hunt around the room. Then she found a young man to play peekaboo with, and all was right in her world for five minutes.

At each place, we found ways to hook her, by tying in to her interests. She’s incredibly observant too, so as long as we got on her level and listened to her, that helped extend our time at a place. We also let her run her energy out when there was space!

Be flexible and be prepared.

MC and I have a routine at home. Meals are served at a pretty consistent time each day, she stills takes a nap, and we have snacks and activities that we do throughout the day.

From the beginning I knew our trip would not allow for this time of schedule, and I was okay with it because – hello, when does your toddler get the chance to travel to France? and – we needed to seize every opportunity to soak in the sights, the food, and the culture.

During our travels, we were running all day in a new town, or staying with another family in their home, so we needed to be flexible. MC either refused a nap in order to catch all the sights with us or passed out in her stroller, typically as we were arriving back for the evening. We tried to keep meal times consistent and did so for breakfast and lunch.

Dinner, though is a different story. At our home, MC eats around 6pm every night and is in bed by 8pm. The traditional French schedule has a snack (la quatre heure or le goûter) at 4pm and dinner at 8pm. This may be different with French families of young children, but our hosts (who are lovely, perfect, and amazing!) did not have young children. So, sometimes, after a day of many sights, overstimulation, and an empty belly and heavy eyelids, MC would MD (meltdown).

We accepted these meltdowns as they came, knowing that we really had put her through a lot changing her schedule, thing her to many places in a day that were not necessarily fun and changing time zones. We also kept in mind that despite the meltdowns, the overall experience our whole family was sharing was absolutely worth it!

I would totally take this trip again with the family – I’d pack lighter and try to better remember a healthy-sized goûter for our pint-sized American.

What are some lessons you’ve learned through traveling with little ones?

This is part of a mini series of stories shared from our recent trip to France. Previous posts include:

Preparing to leave: Tips I found on the internet for traveling with a young family.

Do you have questions about our trip? Please email me or share in the comments section – I would love to answer them!